How To Attract Your Perfect Partner
One of the questions I am often asked is; how did you and Dan meet? And it’s a story that I love to share because I intentionally put into practice some simple techniques to attract my perfect partner. If you are still searching, I’ll teach you how to attract your perfect partner as I share our story.
The first time I watched The Secret was in Oct 2006. This was before it became a world-wide movement. It had a pretty big impact on me, and it was the beginning of a life transforming journey. One of the lessons I learned was about being specific about what it is that you want, just like picking from a catalogue. This seemed like a very good idea to me.
The First Step: Finding Clarity
In March 2007, I was dealing with a few personal challenges and needed to spend some time away, alone, in order to have the space to find clarity and direction. I packed up my very used car and drove to the Poconos (a 6 hour drive away), all alone. In retrospect, maybe not the best idea I have ever had, but my parents had given me their timeshare for a week and I needed to be alone.
Sometimes, what we really need is to be alone before we are together.
I brought along 9 books (all self-development, except one) and my journal. No laptop or cell phone, not even TV or movies. I spent five days walking in nature, building fires, meeting complete strangers, reading and writing in my journal. I took notes on the books I read and I made long lists of all of the things I wanted in my life.
One of those lists included what I was looking for in a partner. What I did was take all of the things that had not worked in my previous relationships, and asked for the opposite. I was fairly specific too, right down to “I want a partner who is between 5’10” and 6’2″ tall, with dark hair and blue eyes”. I filled over five pages of my journal with my “order”.
Step Two: Put Things Aside
When I came home from the trip, refreshed and renewed, I put the journal aside and rarely looked at it. What I did do was occasionally I would imagine my dream house (I know every single detail of what it looks like) with my partner and our kids. I could never really see his face clearly, but he was tall, with dark hair and for some reason, always wearing a white shirt. I had read somewhere that time doesn’t really exist and that everything in our lives really happens at the same time, just on a different plane. So I used to imagine our life together, happening right now, just on a different plane. I had fun with it, and I didn’t really worry about it.
Step Three: The Work
In November of 2007, I was introduced to a book called Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t. I had read dozens of books on personal development that year, but this one is really more of a workbook, rather than just a book. There are some very specific exercises you can do, in order to send the most accurate message out into the Universe.
Later that month, I worked through the Desire Statement exercise to attract my ideal partner and came up with a one page summary of what I was looking for. For example, he has to live within a one hour drive (no more long distance for me), be fluently bilingual in French & English, be open to a relationship (I wasn’t interested in dating, I was training for Ironman #3), be affectionate and loving. The following week, I recall being out running with a friend and mentioning that I was going to spend New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend. Keep in mind that I wasn’t even dating anyone at this time, nor was there anyone in the picture!
I was ‘acting as if’ my relationship was already manifested in the real world.
In the meantime, the stars were lining up for Dan as well. Dan is from Niagara Falls, and at that time, had been living in St. Catherines, working in Amherst, NY. In the late fall of 2007, Dan was laid off from his role in the States and had to find another job as a computer programmer. Thankfully for me, he was hired by a local company, right here in Burlington, Ontario in late October 2007. Dan had been single for a while, taking some time for himself after a bad break-up.
Step Four: Trust Your Gut and Take Action
The next part of the story is how we actually met. It’s a series of amazing ‘coincidences’ that when I look back on now, I can see direct path to my perfect partner, even though I wasn’t conscious of it at the time.
My good friend from McMaster Sports (where I worked in university), Jenn found me on Facebook, in Sept 2007. We realized that she worked just down the street from where I lived and decided to have lunch one day. Over lunch, we ended up discussing business. One thing lead to another, and we ended up doing business together. This was also an interesting turn of events, as I usually don’t bring up business over lunch with old friends that I haven’t seen in a while. Thanks to our business connection, I would often drop by the office to visit on her lunch hour.
On Friday Dec 7th, 2007, I had just finished cleaning the house (hadn’t even showered yet) and popped by to see Jenn, to lend her a copy of The Secret. That was the day that she introduced me to Dan. Even though I was not at my best (and probably didn’t smell that great), I said hello and smiled. I noticed right away that he was cute and tall, but we barely exchanged more than a few sentences. She introduced us on Facebook and I immediately saw that he had been to school in French and that he was bilingual. This was very exciting!
Step Five: Create a Connection as Quickly as Possible
Our first phone call was the following Monday evening, and we spoke for over a half hour – in French. Let me tell you guys, speaking French is a GREAT way to pick up French girls!! It’s worth keeping up your high school French. We did hit if off immediately, and set up our first date for the following Wednesday at lunch.
Our first date was lunch at Paradiso Restaurant, in downtown Burlington. We sat in a booth, and it was instant electricity for both of us. I kept moving closer to him during lunch … I just wanted to be as close as possible. Needless to say, it was a great first date. We kissed, and I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day.
On our next date, we had pretty much decided that we were going to be together, boyfriend and girlfriend. This may seem quick to many of you, however as I was training for Ironman, building my USANA business and working part-time as a tutor, I was clear that I didn’t have time to date. Dan was open to it, so we jumped right in.
I thought it might be interesting to see how Dan stacked up to my Desire Statement written on Nov 25, 2007 (less than 3 weeks earlier):
- My ideal relationship is with a man who is looking for a committed relationship and lives within a 1 hour drive
- My ideal partner is only 6 years old or younger than I am (Dan is 6 years, 3 months younger)
- Fluent in French and English
- He is passionate, and lives his life with passion & purpose and is working towards financial freedom
- He enjoys being physically active
- My ideal partner dreams big and has many exciting goals for his and our lives,
- He inspires me everyday
That is a summary of what was written on that Desire Statement. I didn’t know all of these things about Dan within the first few days, but it became evident within a few months how much he fit exactly what I had been looking for.
What I had realized is that in order to attract someone with certain qualities, you must exhibit them yourself.
In the process of attracting my perfect partner, I had also changed. I become the perfect partner for Dan as well. Even though he didn’t do all of the same written work as I did, he had done the work in his mind and heart. And when I shared the full five pages from my journal at our wedding on July 12, 2009, it was clear that I truly had attracted my perfect partner for life.
We are truly blessed to have a wonderful relationship. We can spend days together and still be very happy together. This is the relationship I have always dreamed of.
I chose not to make compromises on what I truly desired and I got it.
We are open with each other, there are no secrets between us, and we support each other unconditionally. We have been through a lot in the past decade: job losses, apartment fire, change of business, loss of income, birth of our daughter, two miscarriages and me almost losing my life. The one thing that has been stable throughout everything is our love for each other. It may seem cheesy at times, but it’s a pretty amazing feeling to be with the RIGHT person for each other.
Life is too short to be with the wrong person.
There will be challenges in any relationship, and if you are with the right person, you will get through them and move on. If you’re with the wrong person, you may never get through the challenges or issues. However, every situation is different and we are the only ones who can decide whether to give up on a relationship. Personally, I was divorced from my first husband after only two and half years of marriage. Frankly, it’s not something that I will ever regret because being with the wrong partner helped me on my journey to attract my perfect partner.
We all deserve the best, we all deserve to be happy and we all deserve to be in our perfect relationship.
Step Six: And They All Lived Happily Ever After!
What’s your true love story? Have you found your perfect partner? I love hearing how others have come together, are you open to sharing your story in the comments?
Wealthylicious Burlington is BACK!: Want to learn how to create wealth? Please join me for an evening of wealth, wisdom and wellness on Tuesday June 20th at the Burlington Golf & Country Club. This event is full of great speakers who will share their expertise. Key topics include creating wealth and the power of network marketing. We’ll also cover how to diversify your income and invest in your health. http://www.wealthyliciousburlington.eventbrite.ca.