Last post, I talked about some the common challenges that new moms have, that no one really seems to want to talk about. There was some great feedback in the comments section and it’s nice to see so many honest replies. As promised, here are my thoughts about the other points on the list:
- Colicky or crying baby
- Lack of support, from partner or family (possibly due to distance)
- Body image and weight loss
The good news is that after 3 months, the colic seems to settle down. It’s very hard to know what to do when you first become a mom and your baby is crying – a lot. Sometimes it seems like everything you’ve read about, every suggestion you’ve been given, every gadget you buy still doesn’t work. We certainly bought the gadgets! We have a vibrating chair, a swing, an exercise ball to bounce on and none of these seemed to work for Céline. Of course there is always the lamby swing. If you’re not sure what this is, not to worry, you’re not missing out. It just happens to be the perfect swing to put babies to sleep. So of course we definitely thought we were missing out!
Many of my friends already have children and one of the things that they had mentioned that was a challenge was that either they were far away from their family or their family was far away from them. I never really understood this to be a challenge at the time. Now I completely understand what they meant. When family is close by, it’s easier to call someone and have them come by to help, give you a few hours off or maybe even babysit. I have a friend who takes her child to her mom’s once a week so that she gets a break to do errands and go to the gym. What a luxury! My family has been apart for many years, I was the one away for several years in Switzerland and now my parents live in Mexico and my sister is in Vancouver. I’m lucky that my in-laws are within an hour drive, this helps to give me a break some of the time. Being a full-time mom is a very daunting job! Having family around to help, especially during the first year is a blessing.
Being pregnant was great, having a baby bump is cute and it’s fun to wear maternity clothes. Of course, it’s not as much fun wearing maternity clothes for months after you have the baby. It’s hard to be prepared for all of the changes that happen to your body after having a baby. Some of them are permanent, like stretch marks or a C-section scar and some of them can be changed, like losing all of the extra baby weight. It’s also about learning to accept the changes in your body – the one thing I will say is that even though it might be hard to be a few sizes bigger than before, it’s pretty amazing that our bodies can grow a couple of cells into a human being in approximately 9 months.
So there you have it – the deep dark secrets of motherhood you’d wondered about but no one was sharing. I’m glad to have opened up the conversation with all of the amazing moms that read this blog! Dads, you’re welcome to check in too – I’m sure there are many hardships new dads face too, that no one talks about.