Being a parent is hard. Being a mom is often more stressful than being a dad, since most moms are the primary care-givers for our children. Whether a mom works outside of the home or not once the kid(s) are born is often a decision that is purely based on finances and not what would be best for the family. Wouldn’t it be worthwhile to plan ahead and create options now, before starting a family?
Lately, I have seen too many of my girlfriends who are moms under a tremendous amount of stress. So much that it’s affecting their health and well-being and has me seriously concerned about what might happen if something doesn’t change. And many of these women are under stress after having a second child – whether they chose to go back to work or not, there are many sources of stress and often, a massive lack of support. Something isn’t working in our society and it’s showing up in my generation.
One of the reasons I love working with young people and young couples is that the time to create options for when you do have a family (if you choose to) is when you are single or as a couple. Once kids are in the picture, unfortunately for many families, it’s no longer about what’s best for mom or dad or the kids, but what has to be done financially. I am passionate about educating young people about different options and creating other streams of revenue on the side so that when they do have children – they have OPTIONS. Before I get into these suggestions however, let’s paint a picture of what the reality for many moms today.
Here are the biggest challenges I see today for many of my friends who are moms. Dads – I’m not forgetting about you – however it’s unfortunate that for the most part, the burden of running the home falls on the mom. And single moms, I don’t know how you do it. Seriously, you are ridiculously amazing.
- The decision on whether or not to go back to work after having a child or after the second or third. For some women, it’s about the career options and for others, it’s only about the money. And often for those who are passionate about their career, they often feel as though they are already falling behind because of the time they took off when their child was born, which adds even more stress. For those who feel as though they have no choice but to go back because of financial reasons, it’s often even harder, as they may have lost their passion for their role and are simply trading hours for dollars.
- The stress of not having enough hours in the day. Many moms I know are getting up in the night with their child(ren) and still having to get up for a full day of work. They are packing lunches, getting kids ready for the day and barely making it out to door themselves to drop the kids off at daycare for before and after school care. After rushing home from the office, making dinner, it’s often time for bed only a few minutes after they have eaten. And since they are exhausted too, they often head to bed shortly after their kids, leaving no time for themselves or their spouse in the day.
- Running the household. I know that I’m not the only mom who schedules all of the appointments, arranges for carpool, enrolls the children in their activities, reads the notes from school, plans the calendar, drives to practice etc. etc. etc. Whether a mom works outside of the home or not, this burden of organization is most likely carried by her.
- Finding help. Here’s the challenge for many families – they want to have help but they cannot afford it. Most of us no longer live close to our immediately family and even if we do, grand-parents are often still working full-time or perhaps aren’t in the best health and cannot help. It’s a bit of a catch 22 – mom goes back to work to help with the financial situation, but being away from home all day, she’s not able to keep up with household tasks for example. So the best thing would be to higher someone to clean the home. However with the cost of daycare, there is very little left from her paycheck and certainly not enough to pay for someone to clean the house. So then she is forced to stay up later then she would like or spend her weekends trying to catch up on the cleaning.
- Making time for self-care. This is virtually non-existent for the majority of moms that I know. Self-care is treated as selfish and self-serving. It’s not even on the priority list. And what happens is that without an self-care, many women become sick. Could be a simple as colds & flu, it could manifest as a thyroid issue (far too common these days) or it could manifest as something so much worse. It would be amazing if self-care and healthy lifestyles were #1 on the list of priorities, instead of not even making it on the list.
Now that I’ve share a taste of some of the challenges I see around me, I’d love to share some great options to look at NOW if you don’t have children yet but would like to start a family.
- Invest in self-care. Start this healthy habit now. Just because you don’t have kids yet doesn’t mean your life isn’t stressful or busy. And being stressed can be a huge factor on whether or not you can conceive. Choose to start now with some simple self-care habits – which can be as little as turning of your phone 30 minutes before sleep so that you can unplug and read or write in a journal. Make time on a monthly basis for a massage, spa day or getting out into nature.
- Invest in preventative health. Having been in this industry for over a decade, I’ve seen the difference between those who invested in their health in their 20s and those who didn’t. For me, it’s about the Healthy Lifestyle Triad – whole, real, foods; regular exercise and optimal supplementation, like what we offer in USANA, starting with the Cellsentials as the foundation for an optimal health program.
- Create a leveraged, residual stream of income in network marketing. This is the biggest gift I was given when I was 30. I was single at the time and knew I wanted to start a family in the future. I had no idea how incredible it would be to have the CHOICE to work from home when my daughter was born. Network marketing allows you to build another stream of income, part-time, while you’re still working. And once maternity leave is over, instead of having to make decisions based on finances alone, if you’ve build a solid revenue in your part-time business, you can CHOOSE. Choose to go back to work full-time and afford day-care and extra help. Choose to stay home with the kids without the guilt of not bringing in any income. Choose to build a career on your own terms and not have to give up being with your kids to do so. Choose to work with people you LIKE working with.
This last point is too often overlooked and not taken seriously at a time our lives when it would be most valuable to do it. I work with so many amazing women who took the leap of faith and built a network marketing stream of income before they had kids. And I work with other amazing women who are doing both at the same time. And the truth is, it’s just easier to start earlier. And although I’d love it if you chose USANA as your partner and me as your mentor, there are many amazing opportunities in our profession, so find a company and a product line that resonates with you and choose a great mentor. If you’d like to learn more about with me and our tribe, check out the mentorship application here. We’d love to welcome you! Let’s work together to create options for you right now!
Blogs you might enjoy: